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prompt relief: the maple leafs recommend aka-seltzer!

January 30, 2020 / puckstruck

(April, 1940)

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From Greystone Books. Available in bookstores in Canada and the United States. 2014 Hockey Book of the Year, as per www.hockeybookreviews.com. "Funny, smart, unlike any hockey book I've read," Dave Bidini has said; "Joycean," Charles Foran called it. "It’s rare to find a book that makes me proud to be Canadian," is what Michael Winter wrote: "A funny, myth-busting, life-loving read."

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1972 Ace Bailey advertising Art Ross Aurele Joliat Bill Cook Black Hawks Bobby Hull Bobby Orr books Boston Bruins Canadiens captains Carey Price Charlie Conacher Chicago Ching Johnson Clarence Campbell Clint Benedict coaches concussions Conn Smythe coronavirus debris defencemen Detroit Dick Irvin Sr. Dit Clapper Don Cherry Eddie Shore Elmer Lach fans fighting Frank Boucher Frank Calder Frank Nighbor Frank Patrick George Hainsworth Georges Vézina goaltenders Gordie Howe Gump Worsley Guy Lafleur Hap Day hats head trauma hockey art hospital Howie Morenz Jack Adams Jacques Plante Jean Béliveau Ken Dryden King Clancy Lester Patrick Lorne Chabot Lynn Patrick Madison Square Garden Maple Leaf Gardens Maple Leafs Maroons masks Maurice Richard Max Bentley Milt Schmidt Montreal Montreal Forum Nels Stewart Newsy Lalonde New York Americans New York Rangers Olympics Ottawa Ottawa's original Senators ouch outdoors Paul Henderson Philadelphia Phil Esposito Quebec Red Dutton Red Kelly referees Rocket Richard Saskatchewan Sidney Crosby Sprague Cleghorn Stan Fischler Stanley Cup Syl Apps Ted Lindsay Terry Sawchuk Tiny Thompson Toe Blake Toronto Turk Broda wartime Wayne Gretzky WHA

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poem

Thankful that I never
played against
Wayne Gretzky
in an NHL playoff series;
I probably would have had to break his hand.

I would not have wanted to injure Gretzky, mind you;
I loved the guy.
I never touched him on the ice
in a regular season game.
I had too much respect
for how he played
and how he carried himself.

But I can say without question
I would have tried to hurt him
if we had been matched up
in the playoffs.
In my mind,
there are no friends
in a playoff series

I’m not talking about
elbowing someone in the head
or going after someone’s knees.
I’m talking about a strategic slash.
To me, slashing someone’s hand or breaking someone’s fingers was nothing.
It was part of the game.

Broken hands heal.
Fingers heal.
The pain that comes from losing does not.

• from Overtime (2014) by Chris Chelios with Kevin Allen; excerpted, edited, and poemized.

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“The first thing the student of Darwin learns is that what evolves does not necessarily improve — a truth that might just as well be sensed by considering the modern history of jazz or ice hockey.”

• Adam Gopnik

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