this week + last: #freetorts

happy wayne

Wayne Gretzky’s restaurant wished him many happy returns of the day, today.

Also this week, P.K. Subban was twittering: “Congrats to @geniebouchard on a great run! Definitely Many more to come! #canada”

Meanwhile, in Dallas, as the Leafs were losing 7-1 to the hometown Stars, the scoreboard showed Justin Bieber’s grinning mug shot and Rob Ford on the rampage.

“We invented this game,” said Nike this week, in a lengthy new and – gotta say – kind of gloomy commercial, “we perfected it.” Which was confusing, frankly, because though presumably they meant Canadians it never was completely clear throughout the whole ad that the we wasn’t corporate rather than patriotic.

Sorry, said the owner in Edmonton, Darryl Katz, in an open letter to Oilers fans asking for forgiveness and patience.

I know this will almost certainly be the eighth consecutive year since we made the playoffs. I hate that fact as much as anyone, but the reality is that this is only year four of the rebuild that started when we drafted Taylor Hall. The good news, if you can call it that, is that other teams that committed to fundamental rebuilds went through the same kind of droughts over the same kind of time frames, or longer. That doesn’t make it fun for anyone; it just means we have to stay the course.

Pavel Datsyuk was tweeting: “Happy New Year from my cat! Best Wishes in 2014” That was last week, a day or two before he was named captain of the Russian team going to the Sochi Olympics.

Montreal coach Michel Therrien: “Tomas Plekanec est, à mes yeux, un candidat sérieux pour le trophée Frank-Selke.”

“We have the most fans,” said Nike, referring (I think) to Canada rather than its own corporate realm, “the most players, the most heart of any nation.”

kyiv

In Kyiv, Ukraine, as the situation grew worse this week, anti-government protesters donned hockey gear to battle police. (Photo: Sergei Grits, The Associated Press)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa: a writer named Michael Murray was writing in the Citizen. “Hockey covers us,” he said, “like an invisible skin here.”

Amalie Benjamin of The Boston Globe talked to Bruins’ goalie Tuukka Rask about the team’s goalie coach, Bob Essensa, and the tonic he applies in practices after Rask has had a tough night in net.

“It’s more about just laughing,” said Rask said. “He jokes around. Just tries to keep it light.

“When you get scored on in goal like I’ve been getting scored on lately — it’s just bounces here and there — it’s tough. It’s draining. Because you think you want to stop them and you feel like you kind of have to, but then again you can’t really blame yourself, either. It’s a tough situation mentally but that’s why he’s here, and we just try to keep things light and work hard.”

Nike: “We’ve spent our whole entire lives on ice.”

In Winnipeg, coach Claude Noel lost his job, which Paul Maurice gained. Centre Olli Jokinen told The Winnipeg Sun that he felt the team had been playing scared. “All of us should be embarrassed that we’re at the point where we have to change the coach,” he said.

Vancouver got into a hibiscus with Anaheim. This was before the rumpus with Calgary for which the Canucks’ coach, John Tortorella, earned a 15-day suspension. Anaheim beat Vancouver 9-1, was the problem in this one. Ducks’ coach Bruce

Boudreau: “There was a lot of frustration on their part. They just started punching our guys. It wasn’t the brightest thing to do. What are the refs supposed to do?”

Tortorella: “I’m not even going to try to explain it. One of those nights, so we plow along to our next game and get ready to play. … It does me no good, it does the players no good, to discuss anything that happened here.”

P.K. Subban scored a goal to beat Ottawa’s Senators in overtime; the Senators thought he celebrated too much.

“I don’t care,” Subban told reporters. “I don’t care. It’s the game of hockey, you’re not disrespecting anybody. To be honest, that game’s over. I don’t really need to comment on it.”

It was Tortorella who said, once, in calmer times, that defensemen need 300 NHL games to figure out how to play the position.

“Yeah, that’s a good number for me,” said Tampa Bay’s Victor Hedman, 23, who’s in his fifth NHL season. “This year has been by far the best for me personally. The biggest thing is the consistency in my game. That gains me confidence when you feel you can play your best and make plays on a night-to-night basis.”

“So it doesn’t matter,” Nike argued, “if we’re playing at someone else’s rink, or in someone else’s province, or even in someone else’s country.”

The Calgary/Vancouver started with a brawl, at the opening face-off. Later, Tortorella tried to fight his way into the Calgary dressing room. That got him his suspension. The NHL fined Flames’ coach Bob Hartley US$25,000.

NHL VP Colin Campbell called Tortorella’s conduct “dangerous” and “an embarrassment to the League.”

“I don’t think this embarrasses us,” Vancouver defenceman Kevin Bieksa told The Vancouver Sun. “If anything it shows how passionate he is and how much he cares about his team … I think you respect a coach more when you see that he has your back and how much he cares. We are not just pawns out there, we are not just guys he is sticking out there to fight. He cares that we had to go through that.”

ESPN’s Keith Olbermann nominated Tortorella as the worst person in the sports world. “He may be a gifted coach but he is a clown and not in a good way,” Olbermann said. “He unnecessarily provokes the media, his own players, even the fans.”

“#FreeTorts,” tweeted Vancouver goalie Roberto Luongo.

“As long as there’s ice to skate on,” Nike proclaimed, “we’re at home.” Continue reading

call me coach

Glory Days: Before he took up as an NHL, Dale Hunter made a career of breaking the rules as a centreman. In 1985-86, he was a Nordique.

When Peter Laviolette was fired as coach of the Philadelphia Flyers yesterday, Craig Berube took his place. Is Berube the first goon to find his way behind the bench as a head coach in the NHL?

That would depend, probably, on your sensitivity to the word “goon.” The Hockey Hall of Fame’s online manifest of players won’t go there: playing for six NHL teams, Berube was an “an enforcer and grinder.” The authors of a new book call him “a tough customer” — though, to be fair, Greg Oliver’s and Richard Kamchen’s catalogue of creative synonyms is called Don’t Call Me Goon: Hockey’s Greatest Enforcers, Gunslingers, and Bad Boys (ECW).

Out in the wider archival outback, Berube stands as:

• “left goon” (Buffalo News, 1992)
• “Philly goon” (The Morning Call, 1989)
• “Flames goon” (Buffalo News, 2001)
• “the Flyers’ resident goon” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 1999)
• “a certifiable goon” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 1989)

and

• “the pride of Calahoo, Alta.” (Toronto Star, 2000).

The numbers show that, in his playing days, Berube sat out 3,149 NHL penalty minutes in 1,054 regular-season games, with another 211 in the playoffs. That makes him the seventh penalizedest player in the league’s history. The only man ahead of him on the players’ list to have coached in the NHL is Washington’s Dale Hunter.

Which, I guess, makes him the first of the coaching …. “policemen”?

The top of the tally of coaches who, as players, most often broke the rules of the game looks like this:

1. Dale Hunter, Quebec, Washington (1,407 games/3,565 PIMs, regular season; 186/729, playoffs)
2. Craig Berube, Philadelphia (1,054/3,149, regular season; 89/211, playoffs)
3. Terry O’Reilly, Boston (891/2095, regular season; 108/335, playoffs)
4. Ted Lindsay, Detroit (1,068/1,808, regular season; 133/194, playoffs)
5. Dan Maloney, Toronto, Winnipeg (737/1,489, regular season; 40/35, playoffs)
6. Keith Magnuson, Chicago (589/1,442, regular season; 68/164, playoffs)
7. Randy Carlyle, Anaheim, Toronto (1,055/1,400, regular season; 69/120, playoffs)
8. Colin Campbell, NY Rangers (636/1,292 , regular season; 45/181, playoffs)
9. John Ferguson, NY Rangers, Winnipeg (500/1,214, regular season;85/260, playoffs)
10. Jim Schoenfeld, Buffalo, New Jersey, Washington, Phoenix (719/1,132, regular season; 75/151, playoffs)